"Cranky"

So I haven't been getting much sleep as usual. Not because I'm having trouble falling asleep, but because my schedule is so full. I'm really not complaining though. I liked getting up this morning to get out on my bike!

I am feeling really philosophical during my training, and it's a lot of fun. Today while I was on my bike, a lot of interesting ideas came into my awareness.

At one point on my ride this morning I was so in the moment, then I flashed forward to the future all the way to September 13, 2009... the day of the race. I flashed right to crossing the finish line. Though I've never done a triathlon, and I have no clue of what the finish line will look like other than the images I make up in my head, it's more of the meaning of the finish line. There are so many days between now and then. I can't explain to you just how excited I am to enjoy every moment between right NOW and then. Each action I take, in each moment, is carrying me closer and closer to my goal. Each "step" is a chance to improve, is a chance to get faster, a chance to get stronger, a chance to grow... Each moment I get to ask myself, am I doing the best I can do? Am I making each pedal stroke count? Or am I cheating myself when I back off too much? Am I using the elements (the wind) to make me stronger? I was thinking how everyday is "race" day. And lucky for me I can see that so near the beginning of the training because each time I finish a workout, I get to check in with myself to see whether or not I have any regrets... Do I feel like I trained enough to improve, but not too much to injure myself. The body is my tool, a tool of the mind. And my mind is a tool (sometime a self-sabotaging one...) ;-) of my soul.

So the path we rode today is about 6 miles long one way. Then we rode back a few miles, went back to the end, then come back to the starting point. At one point there was a lady from our team that was a speedy today. :-) She was coming back while most of us were still heading out. I was thinking to myself how nice it would be to be where she was. But then I had to remind myself, as long as I'm doing my best, that is all I can do. And eventually I will get there one workout at a time, one moment at a time. And in the end, the only one I am in competition with is myself. I don't want to get to the end and say... is it over already? I want to get to the end knowing that I put it all out there on the course, and leave the race with no regrets.